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Let's face it: there will always be antagonistic people in this world, ones who - for whatever reason - wish to tear you down. And as I've learned over the course of my lifetime, having celiac disease or dietary restrictions - in general, things that set you apart from others - can make you a beacon for bullying or hurtful remarks. I'm positive you have experienced something along these lines within your lifetime, whether a poke at your personality or a stab about the very foundation you have built yourself from. Bullies exist; that is the harsh truth. However, as someone who's had to take countless comments, I can give you some of my pointers for how to face them - or possibly even confront them. Reflecting now, I see a huge landscape of missed opportunities, places where I could've taken control and stood up for myself but isntead decided not to out of fear or embarrassment.
I understand that so many of the recommendations I give on this blog are much easier said than done, but I will push them forward nonetheless. Just remember: I am in this journey with you, constantly growing, changing, and improving by your side. So, it is a goal of mine as well to be someone who can fearlessly confront that lingering cloud, incessant bully, whatever the demon is.
Remember and Reflect
This is one strategy of many that you can use to achieve peace after a jab. If you don't feel up to confrontation, try to extricate yourself from the situation and remember your worth. For example: if someone was hating on my gluten free diet, I would simply remind myself: this lifestyle is what I need to remain safe, I love what I am able to eat, the life I am able to live with my diet, or they will never understand my experience, so I shouldn't allow myself to feel the weight of their judgment. Really, find something, whether a quick mantra or full on monologue that can help you remember you have NOTHING to be ashamed of or that you are strong; you have control over your life and your actions. I can't truly direct you on what sort of phrase to select, for like always, it comes down to YOU.
Confront Confidently
Now, when I say confront, it is always intended to be in a direct yet polite way. My rulebook for this situation is always to ask questions, almost in a Socratic way. For example: why would you say something like that? Or: can you explain what made you say that? This is a technique to amicably poke holes in their story, revealing the possible negative intentions behind their comment.
Then, there is always the approach of being a little direct and - instead of asking questions - talking about you and how you feel. We don't ever want to play the blame game; it's risky business. Instead, I would opt for something along the lines of: "When you were talking down about my diet, I didn't feel very respected; I deserve to feel appreciated and valued in this situation." You get the gist; you don't want to be too mean or overly passive aggressive; after all, we can never fully understand the thought that went into the harmful remark.
Take the High Road
One of my favorite psychological tricks is to take the high road. Not only can it easily shatter an ego, but it's perfectly polite: it's just a stare. You can simply deliver an emotionless look that might be hinted with some concern; after all, what gave that person the right to attack you? And with a subtle smile, get out of there. You shouldn't be in a place or get roped in with a group that makes you feel lesser. Remember: never take less than what you deserve. 💛
Seek a Friend
While this is the one I use the least, it is still a perfectly valid option and often a good choice. Looking to others for support can not only bond you further with them, but it's ALWAYS nice to have a support system. While they might not always understand your situation (for example, if they don't have celiac disease/allergies, etc.), a real friend is willing to help and even more open to trying to understand. If someone is mistreating you, take up company with those who know your value.
While this article was written more with the intention for those with allergies, celiac disease, or general dietary restrictions facing a bully, this can be interpreted by anybody. You all deserve to feel supported and seen!
Until next time,
Genuine GF